Subscribe
Previous Post
I’m a working mother who enjoys both my daughter and my job. I’ve never even considered becoming a stay-at-home mother, no matter what my monetary situation looks like. My professional career is important to me. But no matter how important it is, I still have a little girl waiting at home for me.
For that reason, I was very conscious of the time commitment that my job demanded. During my very first interview, I explained that I was looking for a position with extremely precise hours. As a single mom at the time, I needed to be able to get to daycare everyday by 5:30 pm to pick up my daughter. It was non-negotiable. And even now that I’m happily married, I’m out of the door at 5 pm like clockwork.
I realize that plenty of jobs demand more than a 40 hour work week. Lots of companies explain upfront that they expect employees to work late and be available when things get hectic. I purposefully looked for a job that didn’t need that type of time. I knew that it might not pay as well as a job with 80 hour work weeks, but it provided the type of stability I need to adequately take care of my family. At first, my employers were more than happy to provide me with an hourly guarantee.
But as time goes on, some of my bosses and co-workers have gotten a little lax in the time department. Frequently, a co-worker will ask for help right around 4:58. Often a boss will need something completed for the following morning, but he won’t tell me until my computer is off and my purse is on my shoulder. All of these people get pretty upset when I say, “I’m sorry, but it’s time for me to go home.”
I have literally had the “retailer’s argument” thrown in my face as I was trying to head out the door. A supervisor looked me square in the face and said, “I got here at 4:55 to talk to you about this. It needs to get taken care of tonight.” Actually, since its a task that takes about 30 minutes to complete, it doesn’t have to get done tonight. If you needed it done for tomorrow, you should have brought it to me by 4:30. As bitchy and rude as it may sound, these people’s priorities are not my priorities. All day long, from 7:30 am to 5:00 pm, my job gets to be my main focus. But outside of those hours, I reserve the right to concentrate on my home life. I purposely set up my job to make that possible.
I’m aware that at some point in time, I may move up to a position where overtime is mandatory. But I’m not there yet. My agreement with my employer has never changed, nor has the notion ever been discussed. I don’t think its fair to assume that working mothers can’t be dedicated to their jobs simply because they have a family at home. However, if I make special arrangements to be able to take care of my family, and those decisions are discussed and agreed upon by myself and my employer, it doesn’t make me a bad employee to enforce them.
Recently, an Iowa mom won $180,000 from the state after being wrongfully terminated because her boss believed that working mothers couldn’t be committed to their job. The woman, Jennifer Wright, put in 50 hour work weeks and had never had a negative performance review. As I read her story, I thought about my 5 o’clock rule. I’m sure that some people believe my insistence to leave at the same time every day shows a lack of dedication to my work, but I prefer to think that I simply negotiated my position to accomodate my needs.
My co-workers priorities are not my own. I have my own values and schedule to worry about. As long as I’ve communicated those to my company, there shouldn’t be a problem. So at 5:00 pm, you better believe that I’m in the car and heading home to punch a whole new time clock.
Excuse me but why does the employer have to go around your schedule because you chose to have a baby? I’m tired of these people who think everyone in the world has to revolve around them and their kids. Also the woman had no right in getting $180,000. She just pulled that to make a quick lump sum of money. Also if you have to take a leave for pregnancy, the employer does not and should not have to pay you because you chose to have a baby. Before you take your leave for 90 days, its UP TO YOU to save your money to pay your rent/mortgage, car payments,bills during that period that your on leave or just use any vacation time that your employer willingly gives you. Sick and tired of these sense of entitlement attitude by so many people these days.
157 days ago
[...] but I’ve always measured success in terms of career achievement. And when I had a daughter, I chose to step back and take a different route. My priorities shifted and I came to terms with the fact that I wouldn’t be [...]
Whilst I was growing up, my Dad would always, absolutely always leave work at precisely 4pm so that he can get home to me. He was always at his desk by 8am though and always finished everything he was supposed to. Everyone in the office, including the bosses, knew that and if they absolutely had to ask him to stay they’d make it sound as a favour; and my Dad would accept only after calling me to ask if I needed anything and if I didn’t mind. I actually knew better than anyone else, including Mum, my Dad’s whereabouts.
I completely understand your point of view and I respected. And congratulations on standing up for yourself. As for the idea of not getting promoted because of a fixed scheduled, I find it silly. Unless you’re a doctor, police officer, etc. I doubt there is such a thing as a real emergency that couldn’t have been avoided with a bit of better planning. Yes, there are those one in a million chances when something goes terribly wrong, , but that really should be rare.
How can be something so unimportant that it’s not even mentioned one minute and the next it’s ‘the most urgent’ thing in the world that must be solved in the next 5 minutes?
“I’m aware that at some point in time, I may move up to a position where overtime is mandatory.”
Not with that attitude, you’re not. If there was a choice between you and someone who would stay late in case of emergency, it wouldn’t even be a choice.
As long as something is discussed and agreed upon upfront, there is no problem with you enforcing it. The way to not sound bitchy is to offer a solution – say “Next time you need something, give me enough time so I can finish it before 5pm” or “So-and-so can help you if anything is after 5pm” etc.
I worked with a designer who constantly left early because of her son, which would put extra pressure on our other designer. This wasn’t discussed ahead of time with my boss, so she was ultimately fired. In Advertising, you don’t have the luxury of a set schedule and she knew this when she was hired.
You know what, I’m pretty sure you’re a hero. It’s one thing to make a rule that you’ll leave at a certain time, but another to really enforce it. Bravo to you for sticking to your (entirely legitimate) policy- too many workers allow their colleagues’ priorities to overtake their own and end up suffering because of it. Your employer is lucky here because when you’re at work you’re really in the zone as you know overtime is not an option, and your kids, it goes without saying, are benefiting hugely. Don’t let any supervisor make you feel otherwise.